Live-In Spa Technicians

At times I have lamented not having the following service workers:

A Laundress
A Dishwasher
A Personal Chef
A Chaufeur
A Masseur
A Theme Song Guy (You know like from The Emperor's New Groove?)

There is 1 other person that I wish I could snap and they'd appear: a spa technician. Today I no longer have to wish for this one.

Jesi asked if we could please do our toe nails together so I promised that later we would have our own nail polishing session. The "later" part seemed unacceptable to my pouting princess so I relented.

Remembering that Bart's brother was getting married on Friday and I had no clue if the shoes I would wear would be opened or closed toed I was determined that I would do my own nails, thank you very much, but seeing my determined and disappointed children, (yes, Brian thought he would join in the fun as well) I dutifully handed over the nail polish.

Per instructions I obediently sat spread eagle on the edge of the ever so comfortable and cold bathtub with 1 foot on the toilet seat for Brian and 1 foot on the bathroom scale for Jesi. Chelsea effectively supervised.



Results: 2 proud kids & 1 mom who is again on the prowl for a cheap (free) spa technician. What do you think of my new style? Now where did my nail polish remover end up?


**What kind of personal service worker have you always wanted?

Where Did You Pee?

My family has given Brian an appropriate nickname: Whizzer (the dog who pees a lot from 101 Dalmations).

It seems especially appropriate today as I called Brian to come inside when he was playing on the balcony on the front of our home. With a sheepish grin he said, "I need to tinkle!" I let him know in no uncertain terms that we use the restroom inside our home. That is when I caught a glimpse of his lower half (he was partially hidden behind the screen door). I am sure that you have guessed he was naked from the waist down.

I think he learned to love the outdoor method of peeing over the weekend as we were camping. He pulled "it" out anywhere. I was constantly bellowing, "GO BEHIND A BUSH!"

**Surely I am not the only mom who has experienced a son with such a fascination... right? Do tell!

Too Old to Be Passing Notes!

I recently came across a note that Bart wrote to me during sacrament meeting on the day that Chelsea was blessed. It said:

"Mud
Sludge
Dirt
Grime
Dust
Silt
Slime
Sand

I just thought I would put some dirty thoughts in to your head. HA HA HA!!!"

Bart, being proud of his masterpiece, showed the note to his cousin Eric. On the back Eric, who was sitting by his mother/ Bart's aunt, responded by saying:"My mom says we're too old to be passing notes."

** What are YOU too old to be doing but you still do?

Sorry: Family Secret

With his head hung low and clear frustration written all over his face, my neighbor knocked on our door the other day. He wanted to know how our yard missed the dandelion pandemic; all other neighbors seem to have dandelion farms going on. I explained that I am sorry, but our family has superior gardening skills and what we do to control our dandelion population is a family secret. With slumping shoulders, he turned and began to walk away. I was instantly filled with remorse and self loathing for enjoying his humility a little too much (after all, he is only 13). In the end I had mercy and showed him Jesi's "gift" to me:

Stinky Brian

The following is a true conversation I had with a 3 year old this very morning:

Me: Brian, go get socks to wear with your shoes.

Brian: Whyyyyyyy!?

Me: If you don't wear socks with your shoes your feet will stink!

Brian: (With thrill in his eyes) Yeah! Stinky feet!

Me: We don't want you to be "Stinky Brian". We want you to be "Smell Good Brian".

Brian: (With head hung low he slowly turned around and dejectedly walked towards his bedroom) Aaaaaaah.

My Most Beautiful Rose

For mother's day Bart gave me a great shock and made me an iron rose. I think it is fair to say that he took my breath away.

He wants to do more of them and he plans to do the leaves differently in the future. I totally think he can sell them. What do you think?

**Do you have a treasured gift that you love?

Memories of Sacrament Choking

As I had a squirmy, fussy baby sitting on my lap in church this Sunday, I was reminded of a particular sacrament meeting about 6 years ago...

I'm gonna guess that Jesi was about 7-8 months old. I don't remember if it was because she was squirmy or if I was simply being irreverant and wanted to satisfy my curiosity, but I had a brand new package of the baby Cheerio things and I foolishly decided to see how she would handle them. If I remember correctly, I fed her a couple, which she handled well, so feeling safe I fed her more.

Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a lady behind me who seemed intent on what I was doing; she seemed to sit up very straight and had big horrified eyes. Of course, Jesi picked that very moment to choke on the cereal. At this point I think the lady behind me was hyperventalating. While wondering if I needed to perform the heimlic manuever on Jesi or offer the lady behind me an anti-anxiety pill, the errant Cheerio thankfully came out of her mouth and landed in my hand amidst a puddle of drool.

Of course, there were no screaming babies, hacking old men or gossipping teenagers around; all was silent except for the droning high councilman (which gave people extra incentive to be looking around) and the lady behind me who loudly whispered to her husband and the entire ward, "Did you see that!? She fed that baby a Cheerio!" Her husband seemed a little emabarrased and tried an inneffective hand gesture that said, "You are talking too loud." The lady was not passified and in the same voice said, "That baby's too young! She's too little!" Her husband "Shhhh" -ushed her and I think after a while she stopped talking about my little incident. I do, however, remember that she kept a careful eye on me, obviously wondering if she needed to report me to family services or perhaps the Bishop.

**What are your most embarassing public events?